A Military Parade For Emperor Trump

American troops may soon be goose-stepping down Pennsylvania Avenue to pay homage to Dear Leader Trump, whose boundless narcissism requires nothing less than fervent displays of total devotion.

Underneath all the bluster, our Dear Leader is pathetically insecure. Only the most outlandish displays of worship can reassure him that he’s actually the omnipotent, omniscient wizard that he imagines himself to be.

Dear Leader is a man of contradictions.

He purports to love Dreamers but threatens to ruin their lives. He purports to love women but assaults them. He fancies himself a master dealmaker but blows up every negotiation he touches. He’s an emotional weakling who masquerades as a tough guy. (He’s afraid of climbing stairs, and germs terrify him.)

And there’s this:

Mr. America First, who campaigned as an isolationist, also loves his bombs and is clearly tempted to drop them, prompting international conflagrations that could easily escalate into regional, if not global, war.

His administration has been mulling over a “bloody nose” strategy for North Korea. This would involve a limited, pre-emptive strike intended to intimidate nuclear-armed madman Kim Jong Un from attacking the United States.

If you’re not terrified, you should be.

Meanwhile, Team Trump is also laying the groundwork for war in Iran. They’re using the same bag of tricks to justify intervening there that George W. Bush employed to argue for his horrifically misguided war in Iraq. (For details, read this remorseful NY Times op-ed by a retired Army colonel who helped hatch their disastrous Iraq plan.)

All this on top of our endless war in Afghanistan.

Now Trump, who yearns for bigger and better nukes, wants to stage a parade worthy of Stalin. Next, he’ll demand that we wear Dear Leader pins and clap ferociously as our poor soldiers march past, transformed into marionettes to satisfy a lunatic’s whims.

If we don’t cheer loudly enough, Dear Leader will accuse us of treason.

God help us.

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